2006-06-21 - 10:40 a.m.
Saturday, November 19th
It was definitely a bad hair day.
No hair drier, no hair-filled brush could
fluff up this pin-straight, streaky mess.
For the first time in three weeks, my
face was full of pus-y dots.
My object of affection forgot to meet me.
Perhaps he was disgusted.
I knew I was.
My head buried in the keyboard
of my lap top, a message jumps
onto the screen: Care to
come eat with us tonight?
Us? I asked.
Yes, me, deidre and her friend from
high school. Please come.
A great sigh.
Okay, I’ll meet you all
at the library.
Not enough time to put it up.
I’ll leave it down and pray
they won’t be disgusted.
Truged up Mt. Cardiac with Michael
still gazing intently at my stride.
No amount of “No” could stop him.
Such a lost cause.
Eventually we arrived, hands and nose numb,
my insides chilled by THAT LOOK,
that lovey dovey, unreciprocated look…
Was this my fate? I wondered,
To be with someone who desired me
That I cared nothing for?
His beaming smile made me want to
cry and run back to my room,
Even though he was never disgusted.
And the three of them came pouring out the
mouth of the library, mittened except for the
Boy.
A boy with long brown hair reaching out
from his baseball cap. I did not know him.
but when we were introduced,
I recognized that look he gave me:
Different than Michael’s, so different…
He didn’t speak at first, but
his face said love first sight,
since it was the first time and
his eyes were full of strange lights
in their brown darkness.
And he smiled. How he smiled and
said his name.
I was so confused…was it
the blackness of night that kept my ugliness away?
Well, we wandered off to
the worn down restaurant that was getting ready to
Close. And suddenly, he started to speak
to me, about everything
about me, curiously.
And when the light exposed my secrets,
He continued as if nothing changed.
And I was in love.
And so was he.
c)Lisa Bonanni 12/13/05
blown ashes - still scatter
