2005-09-12 - 10:20 p.m.

Might As Well

College. Yeah.

So I've been here at Geneseo for nearly 3 weeks now. I've been having classes since August 29th and am on the cross country team (although I'm like #20-something out of 30). I've recently run a personal best time for the 5k and my coach thinks I can get even faster. All I hafta say about that is... that would be so cool.

In other news, I'm doing well in my classes so far. I got a 94 on my first quiz in my intro to music history class. My Professor for my Writing Seminar class told me I am an extremely powerful, good writer. I have made many new friends here and my room mate is a lot like me (and is awesome).

Not everything is perfect though...which leads to this poem I wrote today. Finally, I was able to write something...

Might As well

Perfection is a flawed perception--
Might as well be blind and deaf
To each sunset and compliment,
Numb to each slight of affection.

God tell me why I can’t see
This is how it’s meant to be...

He holds my hand

More like holding a gun

He wraps his arms around me

Like a noose

He hugs me so tightly

Crushing me and my heart

And I stand there smiling

Choking on my tongue.

Perfection is a flawed perception
Might as well be silent, mute,
Since no words mean anything
To anyone anymore
Life’s gone from roaring to a great depression.

God tell me why I can’t see
This is how it’s meant to be

He gazes into my dry eyes

While I’m crying inside

He smiles at my smile

Which is really a grimace

He holds me since I am so cold

But I’m only growing colder

Saying that there’s so much time

While I’m only getting older

All hope is rotting away
Like a corsage in the days of summer
Of finding someone someday
Who I could call my true lover
I throw it all into the trash
Weep deeply and strike a match
So long sweet sorrow, you were never my friend.

Might as well let everything go
Might as well let nobody know
The anguish rules my life ev’ry day
This tortured feeling will not go away
Might as well torch all of my dreams
Life is never as good as it seems
Perfection is a deceptive perception
Goes from roaring to a great depression
I have learned all of life’s lessons
But God why can’t I see
This is how it’s meant to be.

c)Lisa Bonanni 9/12/05

blown ashes - still scatter

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